A special bond

When there is no one,  no living soul around... nothing warmth with no one on your side, when you come home to an empty and dysfunctional home,  when you have no one to eat and sleep with.....as loneliness gets to befriend me.

It is interesting that I get something to look forward to something pure and alive, free from control and logic.

True to his himself. And I get to see him and interact with him.
Even though I get to do it everyday, I am not tried,  bored ..instead it is like time passes.

Cleaning up his mess can get really tiring,  but just like a mother who has given birth,  she forgets her pain and tiredness when she sees her baby.

Although, 
my mum did not see me off to work, ah boy did. 
He knows when I am awake and it is his food time.
And I get to kiss and hug him before I start the day.
When someone looks forward for me to be back at the end... imagine you are the only one he is waiting for.

I am reminded that I am important in his life.
I am enough for him.

Even though it seems that he looks forward for his meals rather than seeing me.... his action when he delayed eating right after I have given him food showed me that,
there is something more important that he and I need to be alive.. that is human touch.

It means he eats heartily without a care, only after he had been given hugs and kisses.

His need for reassurances , affirmed love,  kindness and acceptance are a reflection of what I need as well.

More than a physical body,  craving for connection and to be secure in this relationship is vital for life.

When I am his reflection... what I do he copies even though he is... a pet?
The way I sleep.... eat....  irritations.
I have reminded to be gentle with myself....

But,  what amazes me the most is his innate ability to connect with a thing so much bigger.
His connection with me really touches my heart and soul... and it is so healing.
How many humans out there can you even have a connection?
Either they just can't get it, or too busy to want to connect.

But, at the end of the day... it is the very thing,  that is beautiful and important, a longing we have heart and soul. 

To be known by another and be accepted no matter what.

It does make sense that we are made to live forever with the Lord. And it will never be dull or boring or purposeless.

Amen

A bond that never dies

When you are bugged for not spending personal time with him...when you just did!

When you are the only living being that he gets excited about when he hears the ringing of home keys that you just reached home!

There is such thing as saying goodnight and going to bed... when you see him contented and filled and ready to go into his little room and sleep.
Not standing by the edge of his cage waiting.

When meal times means Mummy and me eating the same food?

Happiness

When happiness is seek from the outside, dependant on things rather than God alone for comfort and encouragement, which means surrending to god..and waiting for him and not despair.

Life would seem without its purpose and meaning without suffering. or bearing with others or one's own struggles for peace and calmness. Signs of being alive, has a bigger picture for a greater cause.. However, cold and unfeeling it might seems.

There will be days without any signs of purpose and meaning. We would wander in unfamiliar lands that are harsh and dry. It would seem empty and as if God has abandoned us.

We would learn to appreciate human life and understand it's value and sacredness. Yet, the journey to self discovery is a long winding road.

The understanding of one self to face the unknown.
The strength needed to do combat and recover from the treacheries.
Courage to stand up again and again after being pushed off balance... With countless heartaches and without any answers to the whys.