To live is to die to oneself at the service of others

I finally understand the only home that we can have is not a place, an idea, but where your heeart liea, where you can love more than yourself, when u are more than your ego, die to the negative feelings and thoughts.
It is some to others motherhood, some creativity, some music making, some being a priest, some being a missionary.
It is when vocation calls, regardless of the results of the successes and failure s, it is the constancy to show up and keep doing what you are called to.
Even in the dessert, the rain, the doubting voices, the fears that you might not be going anywhere.The reality of dissappointments, but still pressing on.
It is the birthplace of your soul and spirit.
It calls, it wails, it beckons you back to u the reason why u are alive.

The exodus shows the way

To go into the wilderness and worship, meet, experience God. Only through tests, would we know our true God.
The passover is a sign of God's sign to be protected by him.
A sacrifice by his people to leave in haste from oppression, cruelty, harshness of heart,
To risk all, to walk in faith.
To walk with his strength, to go forth.
Away with the absence from not doing, except by listening.
The price of freedom is redeem ed once more.
The path may not be easy, no sight that one can survive,  many have been stayed for a long time in Egypt.
Many may find it too difficult,  troublesome, to make this journey.
No food, no water, many fear death before reaching safety.
Every path is a gamble, the ways unknown to man.
There are others who have lost faith, or know who their God is anymore.
Yet,  through the persuasion of God's messenger, they begin to have the courage to believe again.
And to be led with hope once more.
No one is spared from hardships. But, the Lord promises to be with them.
The Lord, who showed them the path, will also show us the path.
What is impossible for us, is possible for God.
I therefore, can move on with courage and not despair.
To go forth, once more.

The Shift

Never have I felt that creating was another of living, being, ....

Music, my soul!

I never thought connection could be in this manner.
To share, encourage,  to invite, to encourage,  to give and be received with such kindness.
I had to had such grace too.
To break free from the stereo thinking, to be accepted for my flaws, to break away from the prison walls of lone liness, endless thoughts that lead nowhere, what I did with the little self respect I had left.
A remarkable breakthrough to express myself and invited others to do so.
Not as a uptight musician, but a human being who just want to be connected through music with little words.
What matters is not how well I di it, but whether it was a vehicle to serve and bring out another side to one's being or soul.
I felt for a long time, I missed what it was like to share and have someone feeling good after listening to the music I create.
I thank the source,  my lord, for this wonderful gift to be able to share and connect in such a unconditional,  unconventional way of self expression and communication.

Truely I say

I think most creative people work in the dark ness,

 trusting when it is ready, the light will shine on it,

bringing with it life to others.
When it is laid in secret, the maker must work tirelessly

 and vision the thing being created without

losing to the thoughts that might bring the maker to the other extreme end of hopelessness.

 What is ugly and unknown is being crafted and born.

The fanciful titles don't mean much. 

 Driven by mea ning and purpose is one's motivation.

 To rebel and push beyond known boundaries of daily life and by comparison less welcomed by others.

 Unknown ways,

but surely they are driven by purpose and not purchase,

status and position no longer useful,

only to serve, to love, to care,

 and to share

 and broken once more.

Song Writing

The joy of discovery, there is no such thing as bad writing, just what is important is the first time, the great big step you take.

Whatever I do

Whatever I do, drawing, playing the piano, talking to my pets, relating to friends, it is all about sensing, trusting in what I see through my senses. Theory are guidelines, the rest is up to me.
If I want a good picture, a piece of good work, a meaningful relationship, I have to be in it, part of the curves, thinking, seeing the images, sensing through another eyes with my information, feeling with my heart.
Only then, can I say I have it.