Maybe, it was years that my calling came
it was subtle, it was not clear.
The period of proving, getting approval, finding out what I am about, getting tested, honing my skills, healing, the nurturing years, my teen years.
Thank u for the shelter during my tubulent years.
Now, I can walk tall to face the challenges the next half needs.
So, it is officially goodbye.
Friday 21 February 2014
Thursday 13 February 2014
Everything and Nothing All at Once
Are there days when everything seems to need attention,
But when you give something attention, it seems nothing fills you.
You keep thinking, is this important to finish?
Your mind and body are at 2 different ends at the same time you want to get things done from both sides.
And you wondered, what you actually want?
But when you give something attention, it seems nothing fills you.
You keep thinking, is this important to finish?
Your mind and body are at 2 different ends at the same time you want to get things done from both sides.
And you wondered, what you actually want?
Silent, kind, compassionate, the most important right now!
I have thought having answers were the solution.
Having a comment.
Showing my concern, with my judging tone.
Sometimes, why I don't I just shut up, be silent and accompany the person in front of me right now instead.
Just listen with love and acceptance.
JUST be at the rhythm, let it flow, let others have the right, space, own themselves and what ever they are feeling and thinking.
Let it be soft, rather than hard,
let it pour, rather than control,
let it ease, rather than cause more injury,
let the tide subside on its own time, rather than choosing a good time,
let the feelings be friends, rather than enemies.
Let it be, rather than fix it till it is right, let the healing do its own job,
let not intelligence, knowledge get in the way to the heart,
For the mind of your heart can open new doors to you, if you let heal, let it speak, let it show you the way.
Having a comment.
Showing my concern, with my judging tone.
Sometimes, why I don't I just shut up, be silent and accompany the person in front of me right now instead.
Just listen with love and acceptance.
JUST be at the rhythm, let it flow, let others have the right, space, own themselves and what ever they are feeling and thinking.
Let it be soft, rather than hard,
let it pour, rather than control,
let it ease, rather than cause more injury,
let the tide subside on its own time, rather than choosing a good time,
let the feelings be friends, rather than enemies.
Let it be, rather than fix it till it is right, let the healing do its own job,
let not intelligence, knowledge get in the way to the heart,
For the mind of your heart can open new doors to you, if you let heal, let it speak, let it show you the way.
Wednesday 12 February 2014
Why do I read?
After having being able to read different books all at once.
The more to read seemed something like, read for information, read for directions...
At the end, I think, it seems best that if I read from a place that is at peace, single minded, at a moderate tempo, yet it speaks to me, rather than skimming through, or rushing off to get my first PHD.
Where is the flow?
Where is your source coming from?
Where are your leanings?
Aren't all things have their rhythm and beats?
Are we listening to it?
Let it lead rather.
Let it show you the way!
The more to read seemed something like, read for information, read for directions...
At the end, I think, it seems best that if I read from a place that is at peace, single minded, at a moderate tempo, yet it speaks to me, rather than skimming through, or rushing off to get my first PHD.
Where is the flow?
Where is your source coming from?
Where are your leanings?
Aren't all things have their rhythm and beats?
Are we listening to it?
Let it lead rather.
Let it show you the way!
Monday 10 February 2014
Small Changes
Sometimes, what it takes is a sensitive heart and a sharp eye.
Quick to see what has changed for the better, slower to want expectations met.
Since, I remembered, I only get lost and lost precious time getting lost.
Finally, for the first time, my heart and mind did not waver,
It is a small step towards wholeness and faith.
Amen
Quick to see what has changed for the better, slower to want expectations met.
Since, I remembered, I only get lost and lost precious time getting lost.
Finally, for the first time, my heart and mind did not waver,
It is a small step towards wholeness and faith.
Amen
Wednesday 5 February 2014
Soul connection
To be fully human,
I must recover my heart, mind, body and spirit into theirs.
May I say the animals, flowers, trees, waterfall.
Since, we are but of the same spirit but in different forms.
We have lost our intuition because we shut out our hearts, trusting what we can only
process with.
We build layers of armour around it to be protected, only to fail more miserable ly.
We think we are the dominants ones, the rest should sumbit their wills.
We fail to listen what they are telling us, mirroring us, healing us, teaching us.
As a result, we become disconnected.
We think only the fittest survive, when it is cooperation that sens us looking out fir each other, thus harmony is formed.
We see what we want to see, we take what is good in harvesting, so as to gain.
But, we loose trying because we are disconnected aming our species and the rest.
soul connection will lead us home, the anicient people with no modern technology can teach us to be still and not always hurrying.
They teach us to observe our environment and what it is saying to us .
They teach us to be sensitive and knowing.
They teach us to be connected.
To be fully human,
I must recover my heart, mind, body and spirit into theirs.
May I say the animals, flowers, trees, waterfall.
Since, we are but of the same spirit but in different forms.
We have lost our intuition because we shut out our hearts, trusting what we can only
process with.
We build layers of armour around it to be protected, only to fail more miserable ly.
We think we are the dominants ones, the rest should sumbit their wills.
We fail to listen what they are telling us, mirroring us, healing us, teaching us.
As a result, we become disconnected.
We think only the fittest survive, when it is cooperation that sens us looking out fir each other, thus harmony is formed.
We see what we want to see, we take what is good in harvesting, so as to gain.
But, we loose trying because we are disconnected aming our species and the rest.
soul connection will lead us home, the anicient people with no modern technology can teach us to be still and not always hurrying.
They teach us to observe our environment and what it is saying to us .
They teach us to be sensitive and knowing.
They teach us to be connected.
Tuesday 4 February 2014
Undivided Heart
Often have I wondered,
there are only moments to remember, when my mind, body, spirit are single minded.
The rest of the time struggling within, as if they were separated from me!
How do you know?
What are the signs?
Can I take the plunge?
Questions after one another, cutting through.
Instead, of being centered, calmed, present, silent.
I choose to entertain the thoughts that temp me especially in my vulnerable times.
No bliss, but led nearer and nearer to the cliff.
A step away, on the other side, waiting patiently for me to come back.
With no kind words to offer, except this absolute silence within, inside, emptiness pervades,
With a stroke of a moment of grace, I am sitted embracing my emptiness and silence.
I wait for some answer, sometimes nothing, sometimes a tingling sensation sweeps across as if a gust of wind has past by.
I know I am not alone, connected with the source, yet a sense of loneliness, anger, impatience, do surface up.
I asked to remove these intense feelings that seemed to be my only companion.
Yet, it did not kill.
I cannot run from myself anymore, this is me, this is how I feel.
This is my truth, my aches, my struggles to be human.
As I sometimes, get through it,
peace does visit me,
As I stay with my truth, my weakness, my fears,
the intensity do lessen with naming.
As I leave and gather my bits and pieces of happiness, joy, I am reminded that I am part of this everchanging climate.
And I am invited to stay for just a moment to be present.
For that moment, my being, my heart, my mind, was undivided, at least, to gather them together, made me see, hear, feel, understand myself a bit more.
The energy is amazing!
My one desire, an undivided heart!
there are only moments to remember, when my mind, body, spirit are single minded.
The rest of the time struggling within, as if they were separated from me!
How do you know?
What are the signs?
Can I take the plunge?
Questions after one another, cutting through.
Instead, of being centered, calmed, present, silent.
I choose to entertain the thoughts that temp me especially in my vulnerable times.
No bliss, but led nearer and nearer to the cliff.
A step away, on the other side, waiting patiently for me to come back.
With no kind words to offer, except this absolute silence within, inside, emptiness pervades,
With a stroke of a moment of grace, I am sitted embracing my emptiness and silence.
I wait for some answer, sometimes nothing, sometimes a tingling sensation sweeps across as if a gust of wind has past by.
I know I am not alone, connected with the source, yet a sense of loneliness, anger, impatience, do surface up.
I asked to remove these intense feelings that seemed to be my only companion.
Yet, it did not kill.
I cannot run from myself anymore, this is me, this is how I feel.
This is my truth, my aches, my struggles to be human.
As I sometimes, get through it,
peace does visit me,
As I stay with my truth, my weakness, my fears,
the intensity do lessen with naming.
As I leave and gather my bits and pieces of happiness, joy, I am reminded that I am part of this everchanging climate.
And I am invited to stay for just a moment to be present.
For that moment, my being, my heart, my mind, was undivided, at least, to gather them together, made me see, hear, feel, understand myself a bit more.
The energy is amazing!
My one desire, an undivided heart!
The poor in spirit
The wait,
usually unknown,
no arrival,
the toiling
continues,
Our only dependence is in the One that gives life to all things.
usually unknown,
no arrival,
the toiling
continues,
Our only dependence is in the One that gives life to all things.
Monday 3 February 2014
Running away
I used to think that running away was bad.
But in each and everyone of us, there is a little voice that is so fragile.
It is the little boy or girl that never grows up too, like Peter Pan.
To harvest the wisdom of that voice that calls out for attention, for love, for acceptance, for a hug.
Again and again, as if the child inside will never grow out of that longing and need to be assured and soothed.
But, that is just the way we are, going forth and back, resting in the voices that calls for attention to regain perspective and strength to go on again.
We gather up the bits and pieces that we get and often thinking that is not going to last us.
Embracing our broken pieces, shattered memories, loneliness, fears, we move on.
We cannot erase our experiences whether good or bad, we can only say so little yet not be discouraged, and not be too great that we cannot be filled.
Our strength in gathering up and moving on, falling, getting up and trying again.
We walk with our wounds and scars, yet never loose hope.
We carry the vessels that has been given and ask to be held again and again.
Till we meet our maker, the source of all things.
But in each and everyone of us, there is a little voice that is so fragile.
It is the little boy or girl that never grows up too, like Peter Pan.
To harvest the wisdom of that voice that calls out for attention, for love, for acceptance, for a hug.
Again and again, as if the child inside will never grow out of that longing and need to be assured and soothed.
But, that is just the way we are, going forth and back, resting in the voices that calls for attention to regain perspective and strength to go on again.
We gather up the bits and pieces that we get and often thinking that is not going to last us.
Embracing our broken pieces, shattered memories, loneliness, fears, we move on.
We cannot erase our experiences whether good or bad, we can only say so little yet not be discouraged, and not be too great that we cannot be filled.
Our strength in gathering up and moving on, falling, getting up and trying again.
We walk with our wounds and scars, yet never loose hope.
We carry the vessels that has been given and ask to be held again and again.
Till we meet our maker, the source of all things.
Coming back to the undivided homes in my life
My homeward journey
has taken me my whole lifetime
to figure out and to walk through it all.
Always, for longing for home,
where I would be accepted for who I am, cherished and loved.
However, my younger and perfectionistic complexity made me blind, deaf, harden to what was and always will be in front on my table.
Not under my dictatorship or my standards.
I have come to realise and see that there are actually lots of different fragmented segments that divides, and there is the home or homes, I need to come back to.
has taken me my whole lifetime
to figure out and to walk through it all.
Always, for longing for home,
where I would be accepted for who I am, cherished and loved.
However, my younger and perfectionistic complexity made me blind, deaf, harden to what was and always will be in front on my table.
Not under my dictatorship or my standards.
I have come to realise and see that there are actually lots of different fragmented segments that divides, and there is the home or homes, I need to come back to.
Expectation from an outsider looking in
I wondered when I started to realise that what I have been learning have been misled.
Lots of poor information have been circulating and a proper structured and tested out info have not been constructed.
When you have been in one area and digging your head in, it is time to not hide and play hide and seek games.
Feeling the climate of what is needed, expected has been always advancing and on the go of renewing itself, some have stay put, leading to the in effective usage of the body and its capacity to function.
Yet, there is no clear sign on where to move on to, where, what.
So, don't judge and say it is fine, when it is not, and don't criticise when there is nothing to be in a state of searching with no concrete plans to show for.
The state of mind of a onlooker is different from an insider, and so are his feelings.
Lots of poor information have been circulating and a proper structured and tested out info have not been constructed.
When you have been in one area and digging your head in, it is time to not hide and play hide and seek games.
Feeling the climate of what is needed, expected has been always advancing and on the go of renewing itself, some have stay put, leading to the in effective usage of the body and its capacity to function.
Yet, there is no clear sign on where to move on to, where, what.
So, don't judge and say it is fine, when it is not, and don't criticise when there is nothing to be in a state of searching with no concrete plans to show for.
The state of mind of a onlooker is different from an insider, and so are his feelings.
Sunday 2 February 2014
Loving
I guess we live our lives trying to be happy and free.
Yet, we cage ourselves up with all the negative voices around, offering no support, cutting with words.
They cannot under stand that one has feelings, and free to choose.
One gentle word can calm the worried mind, but happy soul.
Only the sensitive can address the unfound fears, the souless can only tear others down.
One has to decide to becone stronger than the negative repetitive thoughts that propels one's free will to live as dignified humans that are respected of their rights.
If loving was an easy task, there will be no more need for depression and all illnesses.
Yet, we cage ourselves up with all the negative voices around, offering no support, cutting with words.
They cannot under stand that one has feelings, and free to choose.
One gentle word can calm the worried mind, but happy soul.
Only the sensitive can address the unfound fears, the souless can only tear others down.
One has to decide to becone stronger than the negative repetitive thoughts that propels one's free will to live as dignified humans that are respected of their rights.
If loving was an easy task, there will be no more need for depression and all illnesses.
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