Undivided Heart

Often have I wondered,
there are only moments to remember, when my mind, body, spirit are single minded.
The rest of the time struggling within, as if they were separated from me!
How do you know?
What are the signs?
Can I take the plunge?
Questions after one another, cutting through.
Instead, of being centered, calmed, present, silent.
I choose to entertain the thoughts that temp me especially in my vulnerable times.
No bliss, but led nearer and nearer to the cliff.
A step away, on the other side, waiting patiently for me to come back.
With no kind words to offer, except this absolute silence within, inside, emptiness pervades,
With a stroke of a moment of grace, I am sitted embracing my emptiness and silence.
I wait for some answer, sometimes nothing, sometimes a tingling sensation sweeps across as if a gust of wind has past by.
I know I am not alone, connected with the source, yet a sense of loneliness, anger, impatience, do surface up.
I asked to remove these intense feelings that seemed to be my only companion.
Yet, it did not kill.
I cannot run from myself anymore, this is me, this is how I feel.
This is my truth, my aches, my struggles to be human.
As I sometimes, get through it,
peace does visit me,
As I stay with my truth, my weakness, my fears,
the intensity do lessen with naming.
As I leave and gather my bits and pieces of happiness, joy, I  am reminded that I am part of this everchanging  climate.
And I am invited to stay for just a moment to be present.
For that moment, my being, my heart, my mind, was undivided, at least, to gather them together, made me see, hear, feel, understand myself a bit more.
The energy is amazing!
My one desire, an undivided heart!